A Cure for the Mom's Blues - Sharing With Others

A Cure for the Mom's Blues

Sharing with Others

I heard a story once about people and ponds.  Many ponds do not have an outlet.  Ponds are generally constructed by digging a big hole in the ground.  Water fills the pond by either running in or falling from the sky into the "bowl" of the pond.  Thus, the water isn't in motion; it is stagnant.  Eventually, the water becomes a bit smelly and unsightly algae  and bacteria flourish.  

You see people can be like ponds.  Stress, efforts, projects and care giving, like rain,  run in filling the person's time and absorbing their strength.  There is no joy or creativity, which like running water, stir up the pond and keep the water fresh. Resentment and exhaustion grow just like the unsightly algae and bacteria and the person is no longer pleasant just as a stagnant pond is no longer welcoming. 

From time to time, I have found myself in the condition of the unsightly, unwelcoming pond. I am so intensely focused on the "important" tasks in my life and  overwhelmed by my responsibilities that I become crabby and withdrawn - stagnant.  My mood darkens and every task feels as if it is too much to bare.  A sort of depression settles in and I feel trapped by my life.  I have the Mom's Blues.

I treat the Mom's Blues by regularly yet randomly, if such can be possible, sharing myself and my gifts with others. I understand this sounds a bit, egotistical.  So please allow me a few more paragraphs to elaborate.  

Regular Dinner Party - My family is friendly with a family that runs a small business just as we do. Our lives and theirs crossed paths once a year at best.  We loved their company and we regularly said, "We should get together and have dinner."  Then one day, we opened our calendars and set a date for us to eat together.  At the end of that evening, both families pronounced the gathering a success and we purposefully set a date for the following month.  We alternated homes, with our house one month and then their house the next. At the end of each evening, we set the date for the next month's get-together.  

Center Piece for a Spring Dinner at our house

Flan Prepare by my Friend at her house

We have been meeting for dinner for over a year now.  It is such a huge blessing in my life.  I enjoy planning for that evening.  I look forward to getting out my best dishes and making a centerpiece. I anticipate going to their home and experiencing a "break" in my routine. Sometimes we set elaborate tables and multi-course meals with plates for each of the courses. Other times, we eat outside with paper-ware and grill hamburgers. 

I cannot explain why this worked to raise me from my doldrums but it did.  I recommend regular dinner party therapy as a cure for the Mom's Blues. 

Make an extra  - When I'm preparing something that can easily be duplicated like a meatloaf or a pie, I make a second one as a gift. I was going to make pies for a week day meal and a family in our church had just adopted a elementary age boy.  It was much more fun to make two chicken pot pies and two fruit pies knowing I was benefiting the new family. 

Just prior to baking, I sent the "new" mom a surprise text, complete with the photo above, and asked which pie they'd enjoy most. 

Use your abundance - When the flowers are in bloom in the yard, I like to bring in a vase for the table.  This is a great time for me to pick a few extra flowers and arrange them in a clean jar (I save the glass jars for salsa, jelly, pickles or whatever just for "to go" containers).  I like to pick my flowers in the morning.  I feel they are fresher if they haven't yet faced the stress of daily sun and wind.  Sometimes I add a note before I carry the bouquet to the cup holder of my vehicle. I deliver them before I start my day in town.

Celebrate the milestones of others - A couple I know was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. The couple was taking a trip with their children and grandchildren a week or so after the anniversary.  I made a cake for them and delivered it on the anniversary date.

Share interesting things you see and encounter - I have a friend who is an avid gardener.  I was at a convention and I noticed the decorations were veggie garden plants.  This was very unusual I thought because it wasn't a gardening convention. I snapped a photo and texted it with a note "edible landscaping"

Celebrate the ordinary - I make desserts for my family a couple of times a week. I had recently read an article in a women's magazine explaining fun cake decorating tips. This was the my creation.  I was asked by every member of the family, "Who was the cake for?" 

To which I responded, "You." 

"Why? What's the occasion?" they asked.

"Just because, because I love you." I answered with a smile. 

I chase away the Mom Blues by looking for things I can share or do for others. It keeps my creativity and curiosity in tact while I go about life.  Waiting in the tire shop, picking green beans, or reading a magazine in the doctor's office can each have a benefit I can share with those I care about.   I intend to continue cultivating this "search" into each day's activities perhaps it will be the immune booster I need to keep the Mom Blues away for good. 

Please share your service to others stories.  I'd like to hear about your ideas to beat the Mom's Blues.